But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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