Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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