Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
