I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
