is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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