Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
