i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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