My first STD was from a foam party
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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