I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
