I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
