i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
