So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
