I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
