i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
