She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
