i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
