New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
