no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
