yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sext me about skeletons
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
