honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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