Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
