didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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