I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My liver just broke up with me...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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