okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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