HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
