I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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