Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
