It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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