So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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