what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
