It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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