My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
