when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
