Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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