dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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