hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
