She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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