super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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