is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
