I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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