R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
