so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
