I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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