Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
