Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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