I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
