Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
