i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
