if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
