U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
